Its a long topic but its all steps which shows all procedures of marriage.
As with other ceremonies,so with marriage,but some details varied from clan to clan.Eight separate ceremonies were observed in connection with traditional Kalenjin wedding.Each ceremony could not be effected without maiyweek(Local beer). The first step was the engagement.This was preliminary visits made by the young man's father to the father of the girl selected to be his wife
The initial visit is known as kaayaaet-aap kooito.On this first visit,the father was dressed in a robe of blue monkey fur.Upon arriving at the girl's home he would stand at mabwaita(the family altar) and send a message to the girl's father.He did this by placing a noogirweet (ceremonial stick) at the mabwaita.This was the sign that he wanted to begin talks regarding marriage. No cattle tugaap kooito (cattle of dowry) were brought that first visit,but an initial agreement was made. The father's arranged another meeting day.
Kebendii kooita (one goes to the presentation of cattle) this is the first main visit of the suitor's father to the father of the girl.Usually one ox or one ox plus six sheep or goats,was taken at this time.Questions were asked about clanship,kinships and other matters which might be barriers to the marriage.At this point the matter of involvement in witchcraft was very important. If witchcraft had been practised by any member of the extended family at any time and also if there were any strange deaths. If this proven to be true, it usually caused the couple to divorce.
On the second main visit of the suitor's father to the girl's home, he offers her father teet-aap ko (the cow of inside the house).This was really not a cow but fourteen sheep and goats.By this time, the girl's father would have done some investigation about the son -in-law's character.If he did not find the young acceptable as a son-in-law, he tells the young man's father seet olda age "move to another house" or "Try another place".
If everyting was agreed upon, on the day following the visit, the groom and a friend of his age mate visited the father of the bride.The groom preceded his friend and both approched the family of the girl. The family members of the bride would annoint the visitors with butter.This was called kaailet-ab-saanik (annointing of the in-laws.The butter symbolized blessings.Then the visitors returned home.The bride was not seen on this visit.
Chutet-aap Njoor was the important ceremonial visit of the suitor to the home of his future father-in-law. It was the occasion for the suitor to be allowed to enter the njoor, the part of the house reserved for the males. The suitor was dressed in a calf-skin cloak, and he was accompanied by his motiryoot (best man). The three first met outside and sat on an ox hide near the mabwaita. There the visitors agreed to pay a sheep or a goat. They then entered the house at the back door, kurgaap saan. The kurgaap san was used by the prospective husband at this time of “taking” the daughter of the home to be his bride. Inside, they sat on skins; food was prepared and served them by a sister or friend of the bride. Before they ate, their hands were washed with water sprinkled from a gourd.
Dowry or sueet-aap Tuuga in this event a number of people had to be in on the discussion a bout the dowry and they had to reach agreement as to what this included. The girl’s parents were to know where the cattle came from, so her father would ask; “how many tuugaap lugeet are there? (How many of the cattle did the groom capture in the raid?) How many are tuugaap mabwai?” (How many of the cattle are from the father of the groom?) “How many are tuugap mwaai?” (How many cattle are from the sisters of the groom? When final agreement was reached, it was like saying, “get ready for the wedding.” At the time of girl’s marriage there could be a request from the woman who had fed her during the seclusion period of her initiation rites.
Suet-aap tuuga was the event when the animals for the dowry were brought to the salt troughs to be viewed by the bride’s family. The prospective groom was to point out the cows which he planned to give for the dowry. The sueet-aap tuuga ceremonies also include an expensive feast, food was provided, and milk and blood were drunk.
Rateet, during this day the groom along with a herd’s boy and a cheplaakweet (nurse girl for a young child) left in the early morning for the home of the bride. On reaching, the three of them would stand at the mabwaita. The bride was called to meet the groom. She would refuse to come until her father promised her a sheep or a goat. When she came out she would stand by the groom. Her father and brother would bring horns filled with butter. Four pieces of sereetyoot (green kikuyu grass) had been placed in the butter; this was significant in that its greenness showed life. Then the father would take some of the butter and anoint the groom’s forehead. The betrothal was confirmed by the man and girl tying seguutyet on each other’s wrists. Segutyet was special grass used for tying in the wedding ceremony.
Marriage (keeseet/keipis). This was the day before the bride was to come to the groom’s home. A child between the ages eight to ten years was sent to the bride’s home to let her and her people know that the wedding would be the next day.
On the next day, when groom and motiryoot (best man), on hearing her bell, went out and waited at the mabwaita where a fire had been lit. She wore a special bell and a cord around her waist and it could be heard before she actually appeared. She was expected to arrive at the groom when the moon was overhead.
When the bride appeared she and the groom came together to the mabwaita. An elder sat on the east side of house where an archway had been made with four beer tubes. The motiryoot and his wife, side by side were followed by the bride and the groom, side by side, as they marched a round the mabwaita twice. Then they entered the house to be sprayed with beer for blessing. The elder took four strand of grass and placed them across the palms of the bride and groom. The couple was then instructed to knead the grass with their hands touching. The groom took one-half of the grass and tied a loose bracelet on the right wrist of the bride. The bride then tied the other half of the grass on the right wrist of the groom. After the tying together, the bride and groom drank mursiik from the same cup. They also used wooden knife, and with the same hands of both of them on it, they cut the kimyeet (ugali) from the same kiisyet (small basket for food).
No animal was sacrificed at a wedding ceremony. An animal or animals would be killed for food but not for sacrifice. A wedding was the beginning of something new, a day celebrating life, a time of joy.
Keeteitei koroseek, this event took place morning following the tying, all of the koroseek (sacred plant) had been used was burned at the mabwaita. It was the final ceremony.
Kaatunisyeet (tororyet), this was the actual final marriage. It could be as much as several years after the betrothal. It was done after the final dowry cattle had been handed over and were found to be satisfactory.
Elopement- Following marriage by elopement, the groom’s friends tethered a sheep or a goat at the mabwaita of the bride’s father. This was a symbol of asking for forgiveness as well as a promise to give the full dowry.
In case of elopement, the same ceremonies as for an “agreed” marriage were performed after the couple returned to groom’s home, but the koroseek was not burned the following morning. It was kept until the parents agreed on the dowry, and then it was burned.
Kalenjin community has different forms of marriage and this include:
Polygamy (Syoonik), this is marrying more than one wife. The procedure for taking other wives was the same as for taking the first wife. However, there was an honor connected with being first wife. It was the first wife who accompanied her husband when he was called upon to perform as poiyoot-aap tuum (priest). Marrying many wives was also a source of bride in that it showed that someone was wealthy.Museet is another form of marriage whereby, a mother of a young man would take the place of her son and marry a girl on his behalf. This took place when the son was a way at war. Then the mother would think, “what if my son is killed in battle? What will happen? Who will take care of me when I am old?” then the mother would choose a wife for the son who was away. If the son returned, he could immediately live with the young woman.
Kiitunji toloch, this is whereby, an old woman who had not borne children or she had not borne a son. Having no son meant that she had no- one to work for her nor protect her in her old age. It also meant that there was no one to inherit her husband’s property. The old woman would then marry a young girl who would be known as her wife. The girl would not call the older woman “husband” but mother. When young girl gave birth to children, the children would belong to the older woman.
However,Monogamous marriages (one husband and one wife) now prevail and nuclear families (a man, a woman, and their children) are becoming more common. Moreover, younger people are now expressing a desire to have fewer children when they get married. This is due to the increasing expense of having many children who not only must be fed but also educated. To some degree, young women are also changing their aspirations, wanting careers in addition to being mothers.
(COURTESY OF KALENJIN HISTORY AND CULTURE)
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